Any relationship unites two people, each of whom has its own objectives, habits, and strong desire to be independent. Although intimacy can make people emotionally attached, there are those who fear in silence that commitment may make them forget their identity or restrict their freedom. When that is the matter it tends to manifest itself in subtle behaviors as opposed to direct words. Being aware of such signs will help you react with clarity rather than bewilderment or anger.
Personal Space
They also consistently guard their own time and physical space even in the cases when no conflict or tension is evident. It does not imply that they are less caring, it can only mean that a great necessity inside them stems to keep the distance and not to become crammed emotionally.
Solo Decisions
They take crucial decisions independently without consulting much even in situations that could be reasonable to consider both of you. This tendency may be the manifestation of the wish to keep their life under control and avoid the perception that they are losing their autonomy gradually.
Busy Schedule
They have a calendar that is usually full of workloads, hobby or engagements that leave them with very little time to plan together. One of the ways of making sure that they are not overly reliant on the relationship to be fulfilled or identified with is by keeping themselves constantly entertained.
Guarded Emotions
They exchange ideas and emotions selectively and prefer not to reveal some of their fears or desires. Sometimes emotional self containment serves as a covering that makes them feel safe in their distinctiveness yet they can still be a part of the partnership.
Future Hesitation
Once discussions turn to long term plans, they might either be cautious or change the subject matter to something that is more immediate. This indecision may indicate a certain concern that certain future obligations can limit individual development or autonomy.
Strong Boundaries
They are very much aware of what they feel comfortable with and they do not easily give in to the main routine or personal rituals. Healthy boundaries between firms can exist, but when they are too strict, they can indicate that they have more to lose in losing control of their own organization of life.
Financial Control
Even when there is no doubt of lack of trust, they would rather maintain a distance between finances and handle their own resources. Having financial independence would give one a feeling of safety, and would strengthen the belief that they are self reliant.
Frequent Retreats
Sometimes they have short withdrawal times following times of intimacy or strong attachment. These retreats may serve as emotional clean-ups, and they can reconnect to themselves and their identity, and make sure that they are not lost in the eyes of others.
Identity Focus
They place great stress on individual accomplishments, targets and self improvement at times to the expense of common experience. This emphasis may be based on the real ambition, but also it may be based on the silent effort to defend their image as a self in the relationship.
