Generosity is typically met with sincerity, warmth or relief. However, to others even minor gestures of care may be strange or awkward. Childhood emotional experience influences the way the adults perceive support and compassion in adulthood. Having been raised without affection, trust or reassurance, empathy may cause arousal of confusion, suspicion or withdrawal instead of appreciation, which displays the non-obvious patterns of emotions that are based on their past experiences.
They seem deeply suspicious
When a person responds to goodwill with apprehension, it usually indicates a lifetime of thinking that good intentions are harboring bad motives. Those that did not experience emotional security as children might have been taught that kindness was something scarce or conditional, and thus with the opening of their hearts, warmth will be something strange or even sometimes uncomfortable.
Consequently, they may wonder why one is assisting them or what the other one wants in return. It is not a matter of turning their backs on charity in a proper way, but of their self-defence on the side of disappointment or distress.
They quickly pull away
Other people have the habit of standing away when someone is nice to them or cares about them. In case the feeling of affection or support was still uncommon in childhood, intimacy may seem daunting or even uncomfortable instead of comforting.
Pushing away becomes a self-defensive behavior since they can relate emotional intimacy with weakness. Even when it is out of good intention, they can easily back out just because they are not accustomed to taking care without strings attached.
They apply a downplay on all praise
An individual that was not encouraged much during his/her childhood might find it hard to believe in the praise or a nice word. They cannot be proud or grateful because they usually refute the compliments or make the center of attention.
This response normally arises when an individual was exposed to little positive feedback during their childhood. In the long run, they can develop the idea that they do not deserve recognition so the kindness will not be a confirmation but awkward.
They apologize too often
Over apologizing may be an indicator of a person who was taught at a young age that mistakes or nuisance were difficult to forgive. They could be held responsible to keep harmony even in cases where apology is not needed.
Goodwill towards them can create this reaction since they might believe that they are imposing on others. The apology is one method of escaping the conflict and securing themselves against criticism or negation.
They find it difficult to seek assistance
When one responds hesitantly to help offers, this can be an indication of a childhood where a person has been made to grow to be independent instead of being given the choice. In case they did not find emotional or practical support very often, they might have learned to depend solely on themselves.
Due to this fact, the need to accept help can mean weakness or vulnerability. Although a person may really mean to serve, they may end up resisting it since they learned self reliance as the main survival mechanism.
They joke about feelings
People who do not feel comfortable talking about emotions tend to use humor as a defense mechanism. They can give jokes or light remarks when kindness is promoted in them to change the mood of a situation that is so serious.
The habit may be developed when emotional talks were shunned or disregarded at the time of childhood. Humor enables them to be in a position that they are not vulnerable yet they are engaged in the process.
They anticipate rejection in the long run
Individuals that did not experience regular love during their upbringing might think that kindness would come to an end one day. They can still be emotionally alert and ready to be disappointed even in the cases when they are treated well by other individuals.
This anticipation is normally based on experiences of the past where the care received was not always consistent or conditional. Consequently, they can find it hard to have a positive trust on others in terms of treatment.
They remain emotionally detached
Niceness can open up, though not all people react with this and instead create an emotional fortification. One who has been hurt at an early age by neglect or emotional withdrawal, will guard his or her feelings long since as a habit.
Keeping their guard prevents them in case they are hurt, although it also inhibits more intimate relationships. Their response is based on proving them careful about their previous experience and not unappreciative of kindness.
They are subdued and feel it
Kindness at times can arouse an emotional response, which an individual cannot describe. They do not have to react directly, but instead they can become silent, thoughtful or even a bit uncomfortable at that moment.
This reaction usually happens when facing the real care that is alien. To a person who has not been used to being warm in childhood, kindness may lead to a set of feelings of gratitude and confusion, as well as emotional power that are difficult to handle.
